Shut your mouth!
I'm just talking' 'bout Blackula.
Yes, Blackula was an inspired genre blend of horror and Blaxploitation. Too bad someone else beat the creative team behind that 1972 gem to the gate with the inevitable sequel, Blackenstein (1973). This plodding, stumbling film isn't even a proper Blaxploitation title (Where's our kick-butt hero?). Well, you can hear us try to cobble together sense from this inarticulate mass of lifeless tissues here on the latest Temple of Bad. (And, while you're there, check out the Kickstarter to launch the Cinefantastique web series.)
I had no trouble finding an NIH postcard at the little shop in my building, but here in Virginia -- forget about it! I was looking for just any old souvenir postcard to send her. You know the type: VIRGINIA, THE FIRST COLONY! or even the U.S. Capitol Building and GREETINGS FROM WASHINGTON, D.C. I went to a CVS pharmacy, a Hess gas station, my local Giant supermarket, a 7-11, and a Dollar Tree. Nope.
Post cards used to be at the checkout stands everywhere you turned. Not anymore. What has replaced them? Gift cards for iTunes and Red Lobster. Call that progress, 'cause I don't.
I ended up cutting apart a National Cathedral greeting card and sending that to her. I got to mention the moon rock in the stained glass window, and the Dark Vader gargoyle on the cathedral.
This film was an attempt to cash in on the success of the disco movie Saturday Night Fever . . . just as disco was dying. Ostensibly the origin story of the band Village People ("YMCA," "Macho Man," etc), CStM has about the same level of reality as that other origin story film released around this time, The Muppet Movie. Valerie Perrine (loved her in Superman), Bruce Jenner (loved him at the 1976 Summer Olympics), and Steve Guttenberg (whatever) join forces to get Steve's music heard. But first they need a band composed of gay stereotypes. The rest is history: this was the first winner of the Golden Raspberry Award for Worst Picture.
This time on Mighty Movie's Temple of Bad, Dan Persons, Andrea K. Lipinski, and I are again joined by Orenthal Hawkins (popfiend). Can the music be stopped? What's up with Valerie's ice cream cone? Listen and learn. You can download it here.
Notes: To be unwell is to Ralph. Proper names don't count: No Rowlf the Dog. And Rolfing, the Swedish massage, is a specific methodology named after Dr. Rolf. Just as proper as Lamaze and Jacuzzi.
Step two: Best Picture Oscar so I can do whatever I want next.
Step three: Star as Batman. Bad review, buy rights cheap.
Step four: At last, my dream project: DAREDEVIL VS BATMAN
You can download it here.
(I worked a long time on that. Thanks Google Maps.)