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Parents would sit their six-month-old children in front of the T.V. to watch Baby Hitler instructional videos.

My friend, Jenn, when talking about things -– like her recent root canal -– that she despises, would say, “I hate it worse than Einstein!”

Overheard in the Washington, D.C. National Academy of Sciences courtyard, where there is a 12-foot high, bronze statue of him: “Climb up into Hitler’s lap, Hannah, and I’ll take your picture.”

The name Adolf would have been the 372nd most popular name for boys in the United States in 2008 (most recent date for which statistics are available). Albert would not be in the top 1,000.

When referring to his inability to keep houseplants alive, my boss would say, “I’m, like, plant Einstein.”

The smartest kid in sixth grade would be nick-named “Hitler.”

Mein Kampf would be shelved between Dave Eggers’ A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius and Dwight David Eisenhower’s At Ease: Stories I Tell to Friends in the Biography section of the library.

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kevinlauderdale
kevinlauderdale

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